Do you want to put our reputation for politeness and ease to the test? These Canadian insults will make any resident of the Great White North turn as red as a maple leaf.
Anything in a fake Canadian accent
One of the most heinous Canadian insults? I’m putting on a Canadian accent. Although the roots of this exaggerated accent are unknown, it must have been established soon after the country’s establishment in 1867—because it’s starting to rust. The “Canadian accent,” as lovely and quaint as it may sound, is nothing like how actual Canadians talk. That’s not to say we don’t have a distinct voice; it’s just that we’re more Wayne Gretzky than Doug Mackenzie.
“Canadian beer is terrible.” – Things You Should Never Say To Canadians
It’s not that we can’t handle the criticism or that our taste senses have been dulled by years of drinking “moose urine,” as the Americans term it; it’s just that we don’t understand why a country of light beer drinkers thinks they have the right to trash Canadian beer (or German, Polish, British or Japanese beer, for that matter). It’s akin to someone who grew up on cheese in a can snubbing free-range, organic chèvre. Please keep your comments to yourself if you don’t know how beer is meant to taste.
Derogatory remarks about hockey
Be cautious before making a negative remark about a Canadian hockey player or team—a seemingly harmless statement can rapidly morph into one of the most insulting Canadian insults. In general, Toronto Maple Leafs insults may fly everywhere in the country, even in Toronto, where fans are typically jovial. Insults aimed at the Montreal Canadiens, on the other hand, can get you in hot water whether you’re in Beaver Creek, Yukon, or Blackhead, Newfoundland. Fans of the Montreal Canadiens are everywhere, and there’s nothing funny about the most renowned franchise in NHL history. So, if you’re going to denigrate the sport of hockey, don’t do it unless you want to see the gloves come off.
“What about cheese and gravy?” Ew.”
Nobody can deny the enchantment of french fries and ketchup. If you order fries and are asked if you want poutine instead, your answer should always be yes. Poutine is a popular Canadian dish that consists of french fries topped with squeaky cheese curds and gravy. Many eateries offer a healthy, vegetarian gravy option if you’re worried about your growing stomach. Some staunch poutine aficionados may consider mushroom or vegetable gravy blasphemous, but the only true Canadian insult is choosing boring old french fries over a Canadian delicacy.
When you run into someone, say something other than “I’m sorry.”
When someone stumbles into you, you can only say one thing unless you’re trying to deliver a Canadian insult: “Sorry.” The traditional apology might range from genuine admission of a mistake to passive hostile displeasure. Make sure you don’t ruin the term; no matter how irritated you are, it’s crucial to apologize without sounding like you’re trying to start something.
“Canada is the 51st state of the United States.” – Things You Should Never Say To Canadians
Canada and the United States are not the same countries. Everyone in Canada understands this, which is why it’s so infuriating when people worldwide fail to recognize that our land is more than just the 51st state of the United States. Their perplexity is understandable given that Canada and the United States are such good allies, and many Canadian superstars cross the border to succeed in Hollywood. But if you want to throw one of the most venomous Canadian insults, ask them if they voted for Trump or Biden, or why we drink milk from bags. You’re going to get some serious eye rolls.
The letter F (in Quebec)
If you stub your toe in Quebec, you might also want to bite your tongue. It’s not that Quebecers are prudes or abhor dirty language in general; it’s just that they have their own special brand of swearing that entails cursing sacred Catholic Church goods. It may appear strange, but tah-bar-nac (the box in which the Eucharist is stored) is a typical swear phrase spoken in a moment of rage. Other commonly used swear words are os-tee (the communion wafer) and ka-lees (the cup from which you drink the holy wine). For super-swears, some people combine words: os-ti tah-bar-nac or ka-lees tah-bar-nac.
“A-boot.” – Things You Should Never Say To Canadians
It’s true that everyone has an accent and that you can’t always hear your own, but this entire thing about Canadians pronouncing a-boot instead of about is just baffling. We call it a-boat or, more precisely, a-beh-out. So, don’t say a-boot unless you want to be booted by one.
